Simple Coffee Jokes

‘Tis just a simple coffee joke/puns post. Hopefully you’ll understand them, not cringe as much, or haven’t heard of them all.

  • How does Moses make his coffee? Hebrews it. (Simple enough)
  • What do you call a cow that has just given birth? De-calf-inated.
  • “Yuck, why does this coffee taste like dirt?”. Well, it was just ground this morning. (Truth to be told, some coffees are quite earthy in taste)
  • How does a tech guy drink coffee? He installs Java! (You saw this coming)
  • What’s the name for a pot of coffee at work? Break fluid. (Think many can agree to this)
  • Every morning, I see this exhausted person that looks like they would murder someone for a cup of coffee. I really should move that mirror.
  • Why did the espresso keep checking his watch? Because he was pressed for time.
  • What kind of sugar does Lady Gaga use in her coffee? Raw-raw, aw-aw-aw.