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Simple Coffee Jokes

‘Tis just a simple coffee joke/puns post. Hopefully you’ll understand them, not cringe as much, or haven’t heard of them all.

  • How does Moses make his coffee? Hebrews it. (Simple enough)
  • What do you call a cow that has just given birth? De-calf-inated.
  • “Yuck, why does this coffee taste like dirt?”. Well, it was just ground this morning. (Truth to be told, some coffees are quite earthy in taste)
  • How does a tech guy drink coffee? He installs Java! (You saw this coming)
  • What’s the name for a pot of coffee at work? Break fluid. (Think many can agree to this)
  • Every morning, I see this exhausted person that looks like they would murder someone for a cup of coffee. I really should move that mirror.
  • Why did the espresso keep checking his watch? Because he was pressed for time.
  • What kind of sugar does Lady Gaga use in her coffee? Raw-raw, aw-aw-aw.
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Comedians in cars getting coffee: President Barack Obama

This video clip is a bit dated (2015) but I’m rolling with it anyway. I have never been a big fan of Jerry Seinfeld because I think there are tons of funnier comics out there. I am however a fan of his post, semi retirement TV show concept. I am also a very big fan of Barack Obama.

Jerry took his show on the road and migrated over to Netflix in 2018. You can make the jump and see more recent episodes by clicking the button below.